Monday, July 04, 2005

The BBC are sticking the boot in.

But surely not even Tony was naive enough to think he had a deal with devil. I think this is pure retrospective wishful thinking ...

Here's what actually happened.

Sir Nigel : The Americans are going to invade Iraq.

Tony Blair : Fuck! Can we get out of it?

Sir Nigel : Sorry, nope. If we don't back them up, they'll invoke the X-clause.

Tony Blair : What's the X clause?

Sir Nigel patiently explains why the UK government has to do anything the US government wants it to.

Tony Blair : Fuckety fuck! Suppose I go public?

Sir Nigel : Can't be done. The first rule of the X clause is you can't mention the X clause.

Tony Blair : [expletive]+

Later that night ...

Tony Blair (thinks) : Maybe I can drop hints that there's some kind of deal going on here. That I'm going to get some kind of payback from W ... I know, maybe at the G8. With a bit of luck, the Tories will have got their act together and I'll have been safely voted out of Downing Street by then and we can spin the non-appearance of said deal as Howard's incompetence and spinelessness.

Later, after the election ...

Tony Blair : Oh shit!

Karl Rove (secret communication) : Tony, Tony. Don't take it so bad. You're still living in the reality-based community. Listen, if Iraq is an accomplished mission with freedom marching up and down until it's feet get sore. If Iraq is a success - and it is - despite the fact that the country is pretty much non-functioning, that neither we nor its government can guarantee much freedom or security to its inhabitants, and that it's become a recruiting cause and training ground for the next 5 generations of even more virulent anti-American terrorists. If, despite all this, Iraq is a success simply by the power of our willing it to be so. Then, for goodness sake, you can ensure that the success of the G8 isn't jeopardised by our long-standing opposition to Kyoto ... simply by wishing it to be so.

Tony Blair : You mean ...

Karl Rove : Exactly, global warming is just a theory, right. We don't want to get hung up on any particularly theological issues. Our position here is that technology will save us (Somehow. It always does.) We're willing to talk about that. And you should really learn to be satisfied that we have been willing to talk to you. Us talking to you is all the success you need.

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